The Results Are In!!!

Dear Hope,

So the PGD genetic results are in…..  The 2 Embryos came back absolutely NORMAL!!!!!  I can’t even express how relieved and excited I am.  So now that we have a total of 3 embryos we can start planning and getting ready for the transfer.  Like I mentioned before, it will still be a while before the actual transfer day so keep the good thoughts and prayers coming our way.  The next few months will be about getting ready for the big transfer day.  Now, my next batch of worries will begin… just because the embryos are healthy doesn’t mean that my body will make a home for them and I will get pregnant.  But, I plan on doing everything that I can to make sure we have the best chance that there is!

Hopefully we will have some good news to share by football season!!!

Kate

What Will Tomorrow Bring???

Dear Hope,

After an exhausting 2 weeks of waiting tomorrow the results of our genetic testing of our 2 embryos will be in.  Most people talk about the “2 week wait” being when they will find out if they are pregnant or not… for me I have been waiting just to find out if we can even attempt the transfer in a chance to become pregnant.  I have been trying so hard to be patient and stay positive but I am so nervous.  It’s hard to explain the feeling I have right now… a mix of excitement, nervousness, anxiety and fear.     I’m not sure if I want to cry or throw up!   

 Tomorrow’s results will determine so much.  Even though it will still be a while before I am ready for the transfer I am just hoping that we can finally move one step closer to our dream. 

Kate

Update...

Dear Hope,

On Friday Brian and I had an appointment with my Dr to go over the past cycle, updates and what we can expect to happen next.  The 1^st thing I asked was the results of the PGD genetic testing of our 2 embryos.  Unfortunately the results were not in yet and we probably won’t know for another week (don’t worry I will update as soon as I know).  But she did give us some insight on the quality and grading system prior to freezing of the embryos.  I will try to explain as best I can as it is kinda confusing. 

As I explained before the 1^st grade an embryo receives in on Day 3 (post fertilization) – the lab looks at the number of cells and how well it is growing (normal is 8cells and best grade is a 1).  Then the lab will grade the embryo again when it reaches the blastocyst stage.  The 1^st thing is a number grade and that is how well the fluid cavity within the embryo is expanding, the best grade is a 6 (kinda confusing because it’s the opposite from the Day 3 grade but stay with me…).  Then there are 2 letter grades, the 1^st letter represents the grade of the cells within the embryo that actually make up the baby and the 2^nd letter is the grade of cells that make up the part which will become the placenta. (The best is to have an AA although my dr said that a A’s & B’s are very good and only concerned if it’s a C or D) Ok still with me….  Now all this is great but even with a perfect “grade” there still could be something wrong with the embryo or the genetic testing could come back abnormal, but it’s still a good evaluation.  So what does this all mean for us…. Our embryo that was frozen in December had a Grade of 6AA!!!!  The best it could be and as I have shared before, it was tested and is chromosomally normal.  As for the most recent 2 embryos, they were given a Grade of 6BB and 5BB.  So not perfect but still a very good score. 

We left the appointment still feeling very nervous and anxious to hear the results of the genetic test but feeling very optimistic and hopeful that at least one will be normal. 

If at least one of the two is normal then we will proceed with the process of doing a frozen embryo transfer.  This actually will take a few months before it can happen as I will once again need to start some medications and injections to prepare my body for the transfer.  As much as I wish this was a right now type of thing I understand and want to make sure that I make the best “home” possible for my little "Embies" or as Brian would say the “Bros”. 

Kate

Happy Day!!!!

Dear Hope,

For once I am actually excited and really happy to write this entry…

We got the call that 2 EMBRYOS made it!!!!!!

 I can’t believe it… I have been hoping and praying for just one and we have two! So now they cyrofreeze both of them and will perform the PGD genetic testing.  If they are normal then we can schedule a transfer (probably will be in a few months) and hopefully finally reach our goal of starting a family.  

This feeling of happiness makes it all worth it!

Of course I am still nervous and will be until the results of the Genetic test comes back…. and I am sure I will continue to be nervous until we are holding a healthy baby in our arms.  But, for now I am going to enjoy the feeling of happiness that I have and continue to HOPE that our dream will finally come true!

Kate

Holding on to HOPE

Dear Hope,

It’s been a long day of waiting and finally I got a call.  Well, I actually had to call and request a call back from the nurse because somehow there was a mix up and I wasn’t on the list to be called.  But, I did get some updates.  When they checked my embryos I still had 5 ongoing Embryos!!!! 

Of the 5, 2 embryos were at a GRADE 1 which is the BEST they can be (and I think that means they are at Blastoscyst stage) and 3 were still at the Morula Stage (still haven’t fragmented, so one step below blast).  The standard procedure is to push the embryos to Day 6 when freezing and doing the PGD genetic testing so one more day to go.  Like I have experienced in the past anything can happen hour to hour, day to day so I am still really nervous but HOLDING ON TO HOPE!!!!

Kate

Picture of a normal embryo at Morula Stage

Picture of a normal embryo at Blastocyst Stage

Day 3... Check up on our Embryos

Dear Hope,

Today was our 1^st status update with our embryos.  The good news is that ALL 7 embryos are still viable and growing.  The ok news is that they are just “average” quality.  I spoke with the dr and she seemed very cautious to lead me in any way, either positive or negative.  This being because of our history she is still concerned has no way of predicting what our final outcome will be. 

 We had 6 Embryos that were Grade 3 and 1 that was a Grade 2 (1 being best 5 being worst).  She also said that we had 2 with 6 cells, 2 with 7 cells, 1 with 8 cells and 2 with 10 cells.  When the embryology lab grades an embryo they look at several factors and one factor is that at Day 3 an embryo should be at 8 cells. 

Anything can happen between Day 3 and Day 5/6 and that is why I think the dr was very cautious in giving me the update.  In the past we have had embryos that look great at Day 3 and yet never make it the Blastocyst Stage (usually happened by day 5 or 6).  Our ultimate GOAL is for at least 1 embryo to get to the Blast stage so they can freeze it and prepare it for the PGD Genetic Test.

So…  Although I wish the news was that they were all perfect and they were guaranteed to make it to the blast stage, I know that it is unrealistic and I guess I am just happy that all 7 are still viable at this point.

Please keep the Prayers and Good thoughts coming… next update will be Saturday (Day 5). 

Kate

DAY 1... Check!

Dear Hope,

I know I said one day at a time and today was definitely a good day!  My nurse emailed me today with the results of my fertilization report.  Of the 12 eggs retrieved, 8 were mature (which they then did the ICSI process- scientific way of saying they made the magic happen) and ….  7 fertilized!!!!!  This is my best fertilization rate yet!!!

SO now I just have to HOPE that all 7 EMBRYOS are strong, healthy and keep on progressing!!!!!  Next milestone is for them to get to Day 3 which is Thursday.  The dr will call with the update and hopefully be able to give me the status of each embryo.

So far so good…  1 day down only 5 to go!

I have a feeling this will be the longest week ever!

Kate

 

12 Lucky Eggs!!!!!

Dear Hope,

I am home and resting but have good news to report. They were able to retrieve 12 eggs!!!  Very fitting because my dad and sister are in town visiting and the #12 has always been my dad’s (and kinda mine) lucky number!!!! It’s a great starting point but now is when the real work has to happen.  They are probably fertilizing the eggs right now and we will find out tomorrow how many were mature and how many fertilized.  I am so nervous but staying positive and that we have healthy embryos! This week is going to be long and stressful but everything is out of my hands at this point and I have to HOPE that our embryos are strong and make it to Day 5.  But, one day at a time and tomorrow is a big one!

Kate

Looking for the Golden Egg

Dear Hope,

Tomorrow is the Big Day!

Today’s monitoring went well… My Ultrasound looked good and blood work came back at appropriate levels (BLOOD LEVELS:  E2 Level: 1273 / HCG Level: 113 /P4 Level: 1.86) so we are definitely on for my Egg Retrieval tomorrow! I am also looking forward to the arrival of my sister and my dad.  They are on their way from Buffalo to come help us out for a few days! Well… almost on their way.  My dad will be arriving from his vacation in Arizona at 4:30pm and my sister will be picking him up from the airport and they will be on their way.  They should get into NJ around 1am… I am going to owe them big time!!!! I wish it was under different circumstances but just excited and so grateful that they will be here!  

 Hoping that they will retrieve some strong, healthy, mature eggs but All I really need is ONE “GOLDEN” EGG!!!!

Kate

Trigger Tonight!

Dear Hope,

So its official… tonight I “trigger”.  What that really means is that I tonight I will inject 2 prefilled syringes of Ovidril.  This is a medicine that will jump start ovulation, basically getting my follicles and eggs ready for retrieval.   When I was in for my ultrasound today I had a little disappointment… for some reason my left ovary hasn’t been responding to the meds.  Dr said that it was “slacking” this month and that I probably am only looking at around 8-10 eggs (most from right ovary) on Retrieval day.  I am hoping that it’s about quality not quantity.  Staying positive… we only need one good one!

Tomorrow morning I go one last time for monitoring of blood work and an ultrasound, just to make sure all is good. Then Monday will be the big day! Hoping this will be my last Retrieval! 

Please cross your fingers, cross your toes, say an extra prayer for us… we need this to work!

Kate

(4/9 ~ BLOOD LEVELS: E2 Level: 1060 / P4 Level: 0.596)

Slow and Steady....

Dear Hope,

I went for blood work and an ultrasound Tuesday and today… not too much to report.

4/5 : BLOOD LEVELS: E2 Level: 148 / P4 Level: 0.302

4/7: BLOOD LEVELS:  E2 Level: 490 / P4 Level: 0.359

Things are moving along a little slower than how I “normally” progress.  I asked the dr this morning if that was ok and he said, that it was fine and maybe this means we will have a better outcome.  I sure hope so…. Slow and steady hopefully wins the race.  But as you all know me I am definitely not the slow and steady type (tying to take tips from Brian on this one).  This whole process has thought me patience so I am trying to stay positive and calm.  I have another acupuncture appointment tomorrow so hopefully this will help calm my nerves.  I also have really been feeling the side effects of the injectable meds... nausea, headache, fuzziness, forgetfulness, cramping, bloating, weight gain, hot flashes and did I miss anything? of course the mood swings! You would think by #5 I would get used to this but, when you feel like you are not yourself it can be really hard. But, like I ALWAYS say…. It will all be worth it!!!!

Next step… Blood work and Ultrasound on Saturday morning to checkup on my “baby eggs”!  

Kate

My Support System

Dear Hope,

To: My support system…

The last 2 years of my life have been a roller coaster and I am very fortunate to have people in my life who have supported me every step of the way.  If I have shared this blog with you it means that I think you are an important part of my life and I consider you part of my support system.  It was a big decision I had to make when I decided to start this blog and share all of my inner most feelings and thoughts with our friends and family.  A decision that was not just mine, I had to make sure that Brian was ok with it too.  I have trusted you all with our story and our struggle and have appreciated all of the support that we have received from you.  It may be as simple as a much needed phone call from an old friend, a ride from the dr when Brian couldn’t be there or even the upcoming road trip from my dad and sister who are coming to help us on this next cycle.  Each of these things and many others are reasons why each of you are such an important part of my support system (My Village).   

Trust and Loyalty is something that I take very serious and hope… No I know, that if I have shared with you that you have respected that.  I just hope that one day I can be there for you the way you have all been there for me. 

Kate

Here We Go Again!!!!

Dear Hope,

So after a long week in Vegas for work and a nightmare trip getting home I eventually made it home safe but exhausted.  Our original flight was scheduled to leave Vegas at 2pm on Friday but after an hour delay we finally boarded. Unfortunately, there was a mechanical problem that they had anticipated fixing and just were not able to.  So, we had to de-plane and it was a mad dash to get on the 5pm flight.  Fortunately I was able to get a seat but with all the changes we didn’t even leave until around 630pm which got us into Newark around 2am.  Luckily Brian picked me up at the airport and I couldn’t have been happier to see him, but we didn’t get home and to bed until around 3:30am.  This wouldn’t have been so bad if didn’t have to get up at 6am for my monitoring (blood work/ultrasound) at RMA.  It was all worth it because my ultrasound went well and my body looks to be right on track.  My blood work also came back in normal ranges (E2 Level: 39.0 /P4 Level: 0.364) so I have the go ahead to start my stim injections (Lupron, Gonal F, Low dose HCG) tonight.

Next appt is Tuesday for blood work and ultrasound to see how I am responding.  I am so happy to be home and excited for our next step. 

Kate