Dear Hope,
I know it has been a while since I have written but I have a good reason. After we found out that we had 3 normal embryos Brian and I decided that we wanted to go ahead and plan the transfer of 2 embryos. But in an effort to keep things a secret (more so in case something didn’t go as planned) I decided to take a break from writing. I want to go into the whole story of the last few months (which is long) but I can’t keep the secret any longer….
I’m PREGNANT!!!!!!!!
Ok so let’s take a step back because it wasn’t as easy as it sounds…
After finding out the normal PGD results in April we went right in to getting my body ready for the Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). I continued to go for acupuncture every week and I again needed to do several medications (including more shots!! Boo!) to get my body ready for the transfer. This took just over a month and on June 6th (Marisa & Mark’s birthday J) the drs said I was ready to go. So Brian and I went up to the Morristown RMA office to see if luck was finally on our side. Everything went great with the transfer and now it was a waiting game. O… but this also meant I would start the Progesterone injections EVERY night in my backside! I hated them but I always told myself that if I had to continue to do the shots, it meant I was pregnant and I could handle that!
So just over a week later on June 14th I went in for the Blood Test to see if I was pregnant… Anything over a 2Hcg level was a positive and sure enough mine came back at 50.1!!!! A clear positive!!!!! We were really excited but knew this was only the beginning of a very long journey that still may not end the way we wanted. So I continued to stay “cautiously optimistic”. 2 days later I needed to go for a repeat test to make sure my Hcg level was rising. This was a little more complicated because Brian and I had left on the 15th to fly to Arizona for his sister Heather’s wedding. But, no worries we found a LapCorp in Scottsdale and got blood taken there. Results came in at 167!!! A great a number but just to make sure my dr wanted me to go in on 6/19 for another test when I got back from AZ (actually on our way home from the airport after a long red eye flight). Now my Hcg came in at 646… so pretty clear that levels were going up at a great rate- a sign of a viable pregnancy.
June 21st – 4 weeks 6 days pregnant
Our 1st ultrasound- very tiny but very clear gestational sac was visible!!! The sac was growing and a yolk sac was there. (yolk sac is the source of nutrients for the embryo before the placenta develops). 1st milestone – completed!!!
June 28th – 5 weeks 6 days pregnant (baby measuring 6wks1day)
Ultrasound – The 1st time we heard the heartbeat of our growing baby!!! The dr warned us that it was very early and may not to be able to hear the heart yet but it was at a strong 105bpm. This was the best sound ever!!! Brian and I were overjoyed but still so nervous. It was hard to be excited when we went through this before and then suffered such a horrible loss. But we promised to stay positive. (Also our 3 year wedding anniversary today)
July 1st – 6 weeks 2 days pregnant
Today we had a small scare… I had some bleeding so I called the dr and because it was still early in the day they were able to have us come in for an ultrasound to see what was going on. Luckily it was nothing major and the dr reassured me that everything on the ultrasound looked normal and the baby was growing with a heartbeat of 122bpm. He just said to relax and no heavy lifting.
July 5th – 6 weeks 6 days pregnant (baby measuring 6wks5days)
Today I went in for an unscheduled ultrasound because the day before I had a huge scare. I starting to have horrible back pain, cramping and heavy bleeding. I was convinced it was all over and I was losing my baby that I had once again working so hard for. But to my surprise I went in and Dr Hock saw the little heart beating away. The baby had continued to grow and now had a strong heartbeat of 144bpm. The dr confirmed that I had a “Sub Chronic Hematoma” (SCH) – it’s prevalent in 25% of pregnancies and it’s a blood clot that forms during implantation between the sac and uterus. It can be nothing or it can be very dangerous, causing a miscarriage. In my case it was very small and the dr didn’t think it would affect my pregnancy and everything was going to be ok. I wanted to believe her but I couldn’t help but think the worse. Brian kept me positive and reassured me the baby would be ok. For the next few weeks I was instructed to take it easy… go to work but then come home and rest. I was very ok with this seeing as I was at the point in the pregnancy that I was feeling pretty nauseous all day and extremely tired!!!
July 12th – 7 weeks 6 days pregnant (baby measuring 8wks2days)
Today’s appointment with Dr Hock went great! The ultrasound showed the baby was doing amazing!!! At a whopping 18.29mm and heartbeat of 178bpm it was clear that any danger I was in was gone. The SCH had almost all cleared up and between my good blood work and positive ultrasound it was time RMA and Dr Hock said their goodbyes. I was being released to the care of my regular OB and I sure didn’t feel ready. I was about to go from seeing my baby grow every week and having weekly blood tests to make sure things were ok to being a “regular patient”. It was a bittersweet moment for me… but I knew that this meant my dr was confident that my baby was doing great!
I still would have a few more blood test because I needed to continue the progesterone injections until 10 weeks – yes you read that right I was still getting stuck in the behind every night!!! Ugh!!! I do have to give a thank you to my Mom, Gina and Kelly who helped me out while Brian was out of town visiting his mom. Unfortunately they all saw a new “side” of me but that’s what family and friends are for… to be there when you need someone most- so thank you!!!
June 25th – 9 weeks 5 days pregnant
My 1st OB appointment with Dr. Lambert. Brian joined me and we were so nervous because it had now been almost 2 weeks without a checkup on the baby. Now that may seem crazy because most people only get 2 maybe 3 ultrasounds their whole pregnancy – we were already on 5. The dr was amazing and made us feel so comfortable. She was well aware of our loss the year before and I gave her a quick update on how we got to this day. She asked if we it would be ok if she did an ultrasound to see the baby for herself… well of course we had no objections!!! It was amazing!!! We had been seeing this tiny image every week but never had it really resembled a baby, today we could see its tiny arms and legs!!! I think we both cried a little… well I know I did!
August 11th – 12 weeks 1 day pregnant (NT Scan/ultrasound)
The day we had been nervously awaiting… (with my 1st pregnancy this was the ultrasound that we found out the baby didn’t have a heartbeat – worst day of my life).
Brian and I sat in the exam room waiting for the tech to come in for what felt like an eternity. She squeezed out the gel on my belly and my eyes were glued to the screen searching for the tiny heart to be beating. There it was… tears came rolling down my face as Brian squeezed my hand and bent down to kiss me forehead. We knew at that moment that everything was going to be ok. As she moved the wand over my belly the baby moved around and we could see the tiny hands and feet moving. The baby even had a few hiccups and we could see the whole body jump. For the 1st time in 12 weeks I felt like it was real and that all our hard work was worth it.
As you know we did the genetic testing on the embryos, because they look at every chromosome they also knew the sex of each embryo. When we put the 2 embryos back in we choose to put the best 2 regardless of gender. It just happened to be they were the same sex so after my records were released from RMA I thought I figured out was I was having… at this ultrasound the tech and the Dr confirmed the gender too…
We are having baby GIRL!!!!!!
Brian and I are so excited and happy to finally share our news with all our family and friends. The past 2 years have been very challenging but this was our journey and we have embraced it and never gave up. After all our sacrifice and pain that we have been through we feel lucky that on (or around) February 22, 2012 we will be welcoming a new baby girl to our family.
More updates to come…
Kate
