Dear Hope,
I knew today was going to be hard but I didn’t think it was going to be this hard. When most people are excited to count down the days to their “Due Date”… I have been dreading this day knowing that I would have nothing “Due” except the painful reminder of our loss. It’s hard to think that it has been 9 months and I am still not pregnant. All day I have been trying to convince myself that I was ok but as I write this I realize how disappointed and upset I really am. But I have to believe that fate is on my side this time and it’s finally my turn to have some good luck. Out of all the days and weeks of the year I find it extremely ironic that this is the week I am doing my Egg Retrieval. So, it has to be a good sign… right?
My ultrasound went well this morning and my blood work came back in the appropriate ranges (E2 Level: 1733 / P4 Level: 1.01) , so tonight is an important night for me! My nurse instructed me to stop all other injections and just to do my 2 “trigger” shots of Ovidrel tonight at 11pm. The Ovidrel is used to help the follicles mature and trigger the ovulation so the timing is very important. I still have to go again tomorrow morning for blood work and ultrasound just to make sure everything is on track and see if I will need any additional medications before the retrieval. But, if all is good then FRIDAY is the big day!!! Hopefully all my “baby eggs” (as my sister and I like to call them) are mature and ready to go!
As hard as today was emotional I was lucky to be able to talk to some friends and family to keep my spirits high and focus on the excitement of Friday! I am trying my best to stay positive and trust that this will be my time.
Kate
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