Saturday, January 22, 2011

Who is Your "Person"?


Dear Hope,
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the relationships in my life.  Besides your husband and your family I think it is so important to have a “person”.  This “person” is someone who you can go to with anything and that you will be there for them for anything they need.  My “person” is my best friend Kelly.  I know it seems kinda childish to say you have a "best friend" but after reading this I hope you can see why she is so much more then just a friend.

I have know her since I moved to NJ and we have been friends ever since.  In the past few years we have both went through life changing events.  We were roommates.  We both married the loves of our lives. We have purchased new homes. I was able to share in the day of the birth of her daughter (which I will never forget and is one of my favorite days I have ever had).  We both unfortunately suffered the loss of a pregnancy and most importantly we have both learned how important our friendship is to one other. 
Brian and I started really trying to get pregnant shortly after her daughter was born.   We saw what joy and happiness it brought to her and her husband and we knew that we couldn’t wait to be parents ourselves.  Unfortunately as you know it hasn’t been the easiest ride to motherhood (and I am still on that damn bumpy road) but Kelly has been there every step of the way.  She has seen me at my happiest and then at my darkest moments ever.  Even when I’m thinking there is no light at the end of the tunnel, she will brighten up my day and remind me of all the positives and have overall optimism that I need to hear.
 I can remember before we started IVF and it was month after month of getting that negative pregnancy test.  She would come spend the day with me to cheer me up and just make sure I was ok (usually involved some sort of gummy candies and gossip magazines).  She has had to hear all about my crazy ups and downs during out countless phone calls, shopping trips or even “play dates” with her and her daughter.  I was even called in a huge favor and was lucky enough to have her by my side during my 2nd egg retrieval when Brian had to leave early. 
I know sometimes she is hesitant or unsure how much she should share regarding her daughter and her current pregnancy but I truly love hearing all about it!  She is such an amazing mother and I have learned so much about motherhood and pregnancy through hearing her stories and I am so grateful for that (and don’t want it to stop).  When I went through my miscarriage she was there for me in so many ways.  But all I could remember thinking was that we were not going to be pregnant together.  That “Father of the Bride II” moment of both of us being in the hospital at the same time, having our babies down the hall from each other just went away.  But being my “person” she knew just what to say and what “not “to say to make things ok.  She is my only friend that knows my IVF schedule just as much as me (maybe even more).  She is always checking in to see how my dr appointment went or is prepping me for the next one I am about to go to.  Brian and I are so very lucky to have her, her husband and her beautiful little girl in our lives and couldn’t imagine things any other way.  So…. Thank you Kelly for being my “person” when I need you most and for all those time in between.  I hope I can somehow make up to you all that you have given to me. Good Luck with Baby #2 and I can’t wait to be a part of her life too.
Kate

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