"My Thing"

Dear Hope,

So when you think of someone you often think about something that defines them.  It may be their personality, their job, their relationship, or even the drama in their life.  Well, I have come to the conclusion that “my thing” is INFERTILITY!!!! ! I feel like when people think about me or ask my family or friends about me they automatically think about IVF and my miscarriage.  Unfortunately I have to admit that the past 2 years … it is “my thing”.   I wake up thinking about my loss and go to bed thinking about how different my life would be if I was still pregnant.   I have found that every day is a countdown… to the next drs visit, the next injection, the next pill I need to take and so on.  There are some days that even as much as I try not to think about it I still do and find myself wishing the day away just to get closer to that next step.  I know it is not the way to live your life but sometimes I can’t help it.  With all that being said I feel like I have such an amazing support system who can keep me on track.  My husband is the most amazing person I have ever met.  He is smart, handsome, funny, considerate and most importantly he is there for me when I need him ( I could go on and on but lets not get too mushy!).  I am able to talk to him anytime about how I am feeling and he always knows what to say to make it all better. I have also been very lucky that my family and Brian’s family have been great too.  I know it is hard for them sometimes because they hate seeing me so upset or maybe its hard to understand just what I am going through, but I could not ask for better support than what they give.  So even though infertility may be “my thing” I am going to work really hard to not let it define me and keep a positive attitude and HOPE that being a mother will be "my new thing".

Kate